Heated Rollers

I have been on the quest for perfect, voluminous, bouncy curls for the past four years. Since I do not have the funds to go to a blow-out bar for my Friday night/weekend festivities in general, I am sequestered into DIY hair.

Last night I invested in hot rollers. I was being a petty Betty, Facebook gazing at someone who I shouldn’t be Facebook gazing at, saw their new lady of interest tagging them at a resort over the weekend, and immediately got jealous. So, as any sane person would do in my position, I went to the local Ulta to splurge on these hot rollers (because bigger, prettier curls will surely land me a man’s undivided attention, right?)

Right, these bad boys. $19.99

I also purchased some Tresemme 24 Hour Body Foaming Mousse $5.49

I went to bed really early (9:30, after 5 unsuccessful rounds of Flappy Bird), and set my alarm for 5:30 (wasn’t sure how long hot rollers would take).

Somehow, by the grace of God, I woke up on time. After my shower, I combed in the mousse (per the instructions on the bottle) and used my blow dryer with a round brush to get initial volume. Because I have long, thick hair, it usually takes me about 20-30 minutes to blow dry (also factoring Netflix distractions, but this morning I was listening to NPR, so I finished in 20 minutes).

I began the exciting curling adventure (and no, not the Olympic kind… heh, heh, heh)

The curling set came with three different sizes- medium, large, and jumbo. I sectioned off the top of my hair (my part falls on the right) and used 3 medium curlers.

In the back, I used a jumbo on the left and right side of the part.

For the remaining six sections, I used large and jumbo. I clipped them all in and let them sit for about 30 minutes.

A word about heated rollers: they’re hot. I thought that the top portion would be a little cool to touch, but nope. When I was rolling my hair, I had a little difficulty keeping the hair in place because my fingers would burn.

A word about the product: I had placed the heater on before my shower, and by the time I was done blow drying, they were sitting for about 45 minutes heating up. The instructions on the box said that one of the jumbo curlers had a signal light on it saying when it would be ready. Not sure if I didn’t wait long enough or if it is a defect of the product…

Anyways, as I took each one out, I sprayed with Bed Head holding product. Honey, the volume I got was everything. Sure, some of the curls look a little wonky and crooked, and yeah, its uneven in some parts, but as I write this 3 hours and a little bit of rain after the initial take down, the lift is still there and I am so excited about these hot rollers!!!

So, pretty excited. Cannot wait to perfect the art of heat rollers!

9,457 Plays


pre-game music.


1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.

2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.

3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.

4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.

5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.

6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.

7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.


Some more little life lessons, by Daisy Lola. (via spearmintblonde)

(via nosylla)


Your Afternoon Marching Band Video: Go to 3:58. Trust us. (via nprmusic)


What? You’ve never taken pictures like this before? But it’s so classy!


What? You’ve never taken pictures like this before? But it’s so classy!